A popular Swedish news publication recently reported that women had become aware of their own version of " impotence " . According to one of these women: I was surprised that I had no interest in sex life. I've clearly seen a pattern like this: a lot of porn = a reduction in the partner's intrusion. I got to the stage when masturbation completely replaces sex... But I've never even thought about all of this in the brain pay system. But it's obvious that masturbation is a fucking great reward. Probably better than food.
The porn itself can and offers great opportunities, but when it comes to a relationship, it becomes a serious obstacle...
Reddit/NoFap publications. It's a website with the largest number of female audiences (mostly young people) from where people describe the experience of discontinuing masturbation/monitoring porn. More than 700 of the 60000 members of the community are women.
The 540 profiles of participants were considered only about a quarter actively wrote or published in the community. Of these, 93 per cent tried to stop unwanted behaviour (usually porn, sometimes expensive sex games or just masturbation). Only 7 per cent of them asked for advice on the porn dependence of their boys. Although there were lesbians and bisexuals among the participants, most of them discussed sex with their guys.
How exactly do women ' s problems match what men wrote? Women also complain about the loss of sensitivity and sexual initiation, the escalation of unwanted genram porn, irritability, apathy, addiction, sleeplessness, etc. Many also note improvements after the closure.
Fiona.: I'm very afraid that excessive masturbation and porn have seriously desensitized me (psychically and physically) when I have sex with my boyfriend.
Tori: I'm a girl in a long relationship. I usually masturbate once a couple of days, and I started watching porn, so it's easier and faster to achieve orgasm. But in time, it became more complicated and years later, I started watching more extreme and unusual videos. I also can't get an orgasm by having sex with my boyfriend. It's true that porn causes desensitization, but it's very difficult to reach orgasm without it, and it's hard to leave.
Xienna: I broke up with my boyfriend recently, so I didn't feel anything in bed with him. I told myself that he probably just didn't fit me, maybe it was, but I also thought my endless masturbation was making me feel like I should have. I masturbated almost every day from early adolescence.
Kelly.: There's certainly no erectile dysfunction for us girls, but I felt exactly what the guys on the Internet described. Physical pleasure, but no excitement. There's no disturbance, darts, pleasant sentiments in the clitoris and the bottom of the stomach, just a conscious desire for sex. I had some kind of premature ejaculation, and I'd say premature orgasms. Orgasm quality was also very mediocre. Orgasms were often observed only by an alarming tension but localized in the field of genitalia.
Surya: I'm a 23-year-old woman and every night in front of my sleep (and sometimes within a day) I masturbated. I met my boyfriend a couple of times a week. When he left, I missed you so much, but when we were together, I was completely out of sex.
Ellen: I haven't paid any attention to this for a long time until I saw my boyfriend's experience that I had a problem. I liked having fun. I did it to " reward " myself, to cheer up or just to smash the boredom. I realized I was used to the vibrator and my own hand and now I can't get an orgasm or just feel normal when my boyfriend tries to satisfy me.
Valerie: It's time my orgasm stopped being tied to porn.
Sophie.: Women's masturbation can be completely uncontrollable. At school, during the hospital, I went to porn beds and ended more than 30 times a day. Now I want to stop fantasizing about the hard porn during sex, just to get an orgasm. It's keeping me from being intimate.
Alana: I opened a porn at ten years. But it wasn't interested in him until she was 13. I spent the next four years with daily orgasms, and when bad days happened, I did it a few times. It's just awful. I feel lonely and very sad, self-conscious after every masturbation becomes more depressing. I'm covered by self-destruction. I'm very ashamed when I think of my parents, that their little daughter was locked up in a room and masturbated. My brain only filled with pseudosex and fake pleasure.
Liz.: I thought that moderate masturbation was not a bad thing, but it wasn't really that. If you've started masturbating, how can you keep yourself in moderation?
Tina: I noticed I'm masturbating six to seven times a day. It takes all my time. I know it's my obsession, but it doesn't help me. Sometimes I'm disgusting, but I use it all the time, despite my own convictions. I've never been an adversary to masturbation, but I think it's time to get together and finally take over.
Alice.: When I have sex with my loved one, I feel like I'm distracted because I think of all the bad things I've seen in porn. It's a big obstacle to my sexual life.
Amanda: I'm in a long relationship. Almost every day I masturbate... I've lost a great amount of valuable time to pay for work. I used to flirt a lot until I opened up that girls could masturbate, too (which I didn't think about most of the time at the university), after which I almost stopped attracting hugs or proximity to a man.
Lilly.: I masturbate 4-6 times a week, depending on the amount of time available. I have sex once a week, but he's never been good enough. None of us have energy for each other. I'd rather watch porn than spend time with a guy. I'm becoming someone I hate.
Nina: I started watching porn so I could relax and get out of reality for a while. The worst part of the porn was that the stuff that triggered me became more exciting.
Sean.: I've been watching porn since I had the Internet... I've been masturbating at least once a day and the videos I've seen getting weirder and weirder every time. I've been predominantly abusive lately with rape scenes.
Jen.: I feel like I have to masturbate every day. I'm sick and tired. My brain just can't stop twisting pornographic images, no matter if I'm awake or sleeping. I miss a time when I had a good attitude towards girls and enjoy their beauty. It went somewhere. I feel like I'm a sexy. Ever since I've become a porn addict, I've never been involved in anyone.
Alicia: Porn dependency changed my life very much. I've never had a problem with men's attention, I have a good figure, and I'm physically attractive. I saw more porn than most of my familiar men. When I have a wish, I'll spend five minutes to an hour looking for a proper video, because I'm sick of everything. I started with a lung porn at an early teenage age, but now it's all gone to the most "predictable" things I could find. I had a porn on my computer, and I had a porn on my phone, and even a MP3 player, so it's always under my hand, and I even had a payload on a porn site where I got caught because of the hyph-revelama that really woke me up. I wanted it to be rude. I wanted to be called a whore. I asked my boys to beat me, but they usually refused. Sex became everything but love for me. I thought I was bisexual, but I never imagined myself with another girl. In principle, I had not only myself but women in my life. Sexual contact with other people in general was good, but there was little for me. I lied and simulated orgasms to finish sooner. It was kind of wrong, and I just wanted to be alone. Since porn, I've had intense orgasms from one to five times a day. The psychological harm I have inflicted on sex, self-esteem and relationships is perfectly clear. I was less willing to flirt with men. "Why do I have to talk to this cute guy? He will never be able to satisfy me as I can satisfy myself. " I talked to the guys online, and then I just got up and went to masturbate. I was late for school and work because I needed to see porn quickly. I was very pathetic and I wanted to change everything.
Megan: I think porn is a legitimate addiction. And I definitely lost control of her. One day I spent watching porn and masturbating instead of working. Besides the excessive masturbation, I've been in a dangerous and reckless way of life, I've often met random people for sex. I couldn't think of anything but sex. I felt completely exhausted, and my brain was broken into tiny pieces. I couldn't concentrate on something distracted, especially when I could easily hang on a porn. The " reproduction " has been completely out of control. I had a female version of an erectile dysfunction, a problem of clinical stimulation. It was normal for me to fantasize about anything when I was with a guy to make things work. It wasn't as sensitive as it was when I was with me. I needed 1-2 minutes to end up in masturbation, but with a guy, it was a lot longer if anything ever worked out. My habits reminded me again when I started dating one very nice guy who, unlike me, had no problem with porn. That's why I couldn't understand his relationship to sex, so sophisticated, soft and filled with some soft love. I think it's the same problem many guys are facing. When they start comparing not only appearances but also behavior in the bed of their girls and their favorite porn stars.
Whitney.: I started learning my own body when I was 8. And watching a porn starts around 9 years. Free access to computers and faculties have brought me to very unusual research. I've learned this one technique very soon to achieve an orgasm. And she hasn't been separated for nine years. Masturbation has always been a way for me to relieve stress, to take time, to silence depression or just to sleep faster. Of course, I'd really like to do my best, even if it was a little while. Now I'm thinking about whole morning marathons, hours of masturbation, how long I can get an orgasm. I didn't realize that it was addiction, I didn't know what effect it would have on my further satisfaction, how I could handle my life, how my system would function. When I started my first normal relationship, I just couldn't physically get an orgasm with my boyfriend. He couldn't give me pleasure at all, I felt a pain. I can't say that's what happened because he couldn't repeat my “technician”, I just couldn't end up with him.
It ended up at a stage when I didn't even try. It was nice that at least he had fun. Sometimes he was very scared he couldn't satisfy me. He just couldn't figure it out, but I can't say I tried to explain it properly. It was a terrible blow to my self-esteem. After all, he abandoned every attempt to satisfy me. Before and after, I had a lot of internet relations. I was walking around chatting, looking for men for one known purpose.
It was dark times. I was depressed for various reasons, and I came home from school and spent the evening waiting in front of the laptop, looking for something that might wake me up from one point to another. But a year ago, I met a man of my dreams. I was terrified, prejudging a situation when I had to make love to him. I didn't want to see again the disappointment that I've encountered before. How could I explain to him my difficulties in getting an orgasm when even I couldn't have called it? How could I look in his eyes and say it's not because of you, it's my fault? He was so open and he took me the way I was. That was amazing. He was able to create an environment where I would choose to enjoy everything I don't need to focus on his pleasure, but just relax. The orgasm wasn't our main purpose-- we just liked being together. He was everything to me. And it helped. Many of my disorders have passed. But I wasn't completely honest with him or myself, if I thought it would just go through itself, all of these nine years porn and special “technicians” of an orgasm. It takes time to override the habit. I can just look him in the eye and get an orgasm with him without porn. I want to enjoy every moment of sex with him. I'm capable of coping with life's difficulties without dependence.
Hope: (36 days without porn) The experience of abstinence has been very helpful. I just can't afford to get back to the point. Every day I have so much energy, there's a certainty I've never felt before. I don't want to lose all this.
Nikki: Since I started abstaining a month ago, I've had time to break down a few times, but I've already felt good. I'm just getting energy! I've never been so energetic, even if I'm still waiting for a break, I'm still ready to end this shit!
Kristen: Since I left porn six months ago, I've never seen it again. I've never masturbated more times a day, and porn has been watching a couple of times a week. The most important motivator for me was all the energy, motivation, openness after a couple of days. And when I had a desire to break up, I just remembered how good I am when I don't get my consciousness clouded by masturbation.
Olivia: I started to shed when I was a virgin, and when I finally had sex, I didn't have any pleasure. I didn't feel anything because I used to get pleasure from the clitoris. After a month of abstinence on porn masturbation, I started to enjoy sex for the first time, completely independent of the clitoris.
Meg: My main problem was that I was too tired of being masturbated and not sufficiently sensitive during the intima. I masturbated every day, at least twice before I went to bed, I made it more of a habit than a wish. But it took only a week and I'm enjoying sex again.
Julie.: Men are not the only ones that benefit from abstinence. I didn't think sex could be better than he was and was wrong. When both partners keep their sexual activity exclusively for each other, sex can be fantastic.
Sarah.: I have noticed a tangible improvement in my own sensitivity after a solid period of abstinence from masturbation and sex. Love makes this sense much more pleasant. It's a completely different feeling, satisfying your needs with another person, the love you can take from this world, creating a feeling of something supernatural...
Shina: We had sex last night. None of us have been scattering the last week, and the feeling was just delicious. I ended up so loud and nice, I guess it was the best orgasm of my life. Anyway, I'll continue to refrain from porn. And I hope my boyfriend too.
Beth.: I'm holding up to restore sensitivity. And it works. After two weeks of abstinence, I ended in just a few seconds. After having sex with my boyfriend, it's more exciting. He also became aware of my enthusiasm in bed.
Jessie.: I decided to stick with my husband last fall. I only got two orgasms today from his touch. This was the first time in eight years of our life together. He's the first and only man capable of it.
Samantha: When I started to keep my sex for my boyfriend, sex became much more pleasant, more than I felt more romantic feelings for him. Kimberly: (33 days) Since I've increased time between orgasms, I've been feeling more fun during sex.
Cateline.: Without masturbation on porn, I'm getting better. I'm happier, nicer, much more efficient. Sometimes for me, it's something that let me get away from my real life.
Carrie: (41 days) He was so polite, respectful, so real, he was the first guy I've ever met since I was tied up. I've had the longest time between orgasms since I was 11 years old, and I've noticed that now he's much easier to satisfy me. I feel respect for myself that I've never felt before. Of course I've had days when I didn't feel as good as I was right now, but it's gone and I enjoy the peace and clarity of mind.
Kayla: I had a problem with masturbating years from 13 or so. But watching porn I started only a couple years ago, so my parents put porn filters on the computer. I finally realized I had a lung addiction about a year ago. I've tried hard to stop, but it's been a little over a month. I looked at every boy like my potential boyfriend. It was a pretty serious problem, I couldn't build a normal relationship with a good guy. But when I started to refrain from porn, I started seeing guys as good friends than sex partners. This friendship makes me feel more comfortable with guys' company than before. It's beautiful to sit in the same room with the guy and just drink coffee without thinking about how he would be in bed.
GillianI'm a virgin and I have absolutely no experience in real relationships. The porn changed my view of people around me, especially men. I think I've had a really bad relationship. I didn't find the surrounding people attractive, but instead, I enjoyed watching the jao and the hint (referring in the past, I find this fascination very strange, but it really existed at a late teenage age). In fact, sex was and stays out of my mind. I thought the humiliating behavior that I saw in porn was supposed to make me attractive to men, but it gave me a terrible discomfort. I've seen all that disrespect for women in this video. After I was tied up, and I was forced to do martial arts, I was impressed by the way I became less depressive, just liberating my brain from porn. I've been better off treating people, and I've been worried. Life on all sides has become easier. I feel more internal energy, but at the same time I'm much more calm. Although I find physical exercises very important, without throwing pornography, it wouldn't work.
MauraI was very dispersed, unmotivated and depressed. I masturbated every day, sometimes I was just lying in my bed and doing these hours. I had a lot of plans I could do, but I had no strength. So I decided to make it. The first day was awesome! I went 11 kilometers on a bicycle, made a list of cases, and I didn't have much difficulty getting them out. In 35 days, I've been offered two jobs based only on my personal qualities, and I've stopped being bullied at work, I've earned $4,000, I've become a more respected person in the community, I've had family problems, and my mom finally stopped avoiding my father and my family reunited for the first time in two years. The most interesting thing is to wake me is a lot easier than before.
I've been screaming pictures of guys in the underwear, and if it hadn't really affected me before, it's made me crazy. I hope that abstinence should help me get an orgasm when I was with the boys, it was a very difficult mission for me, I think it's because I always thought it was easier to get an orgasm alone with me. Discipline in one sphere of life helps build it in all the others. It's also a care for the stress and pain I don't feel anymore, but I have to use unexpended energy for something else. At first, I felt a lot worse about it, but it's a little unusual, like things got clearer, I had to worry all my feelings more straight. I've registered for half-marthon, and I've been preparing for it for seven weeks. I never used to run. I bought a ticket to the most remote community in Australia, where I've long wanted to go. I haven't been drinking for four weeks. The last couple of weeks I spend time with a musical group from another city, they spent free me at the festival, and then we're planning to go to another city where I'll spend a few weeks with them in music.
Aisha: I've recently had problems with compulsive masturbation. I've been doing it all the time and I couldn't stop. I sabotaged my third abstention attempt (each of them was about a week 3). This is the first time I started fighting something like a stalker's effect. I thought it was just necessary to refrain until your brain re-established properly and could start again without harming masturbation. I thought I had two weeks. But when I first tried to quit, I realized I'd need a lot more time to stay out of compulsive masturbation again.
Karen.(24 days) I started to refrain to learn how to control my impulses, my body, and learn my brain. My husband was there for me the whole time. The process itself and its effects are not just a plastic. Retention from porn really changes a lot. Now I have enough emotional energy to devote myself to different useful things, instead of watching porn. My husband says he's more valued and wanted me. I feel much more confident and independent.
Nyra: My improvements on 26th abstention day: I don't have any superpowers, but I'm definitely more productive, and I'm still dreaming for a free moment, but I'm more energetic than I used to be. I didn't become a supermodel, but I've lost my mind, and now I have incentives to continue sports. It's not a huge change, but sex is much more pleasant.
D: I'm still fighting, but I've been holding back for months. I don't do this anymore when I'm bored, I just remember that it was a easy way to make things up for a while. I'm trying to do something more important, like working on my project. I believe that the experience I have gained and its thinking remains very important. I've learned a lot about the nature of dependence, and I'm serious about whether I'm doing something compulsive or I really want it. In order to make such an informed decision, I still need to exert my effort, but now I'm more ready for it. I'm trying to use the skills that I've learned from dependence on sugar or heavy matter. I feel I can control myself more. Improvement 5: Health and common sense are improving.
Ashley.20 days may be very small, but I've gone through them. I also dropped 12 kilos in recent months and I feel great.
Joan: I think excessive masturbation has exacerbated my hair problem. All my life, ever since I was a kid, I've had thin hair. Everyone in my family had beautiful brown hair (except Mom, who also had a problem with porn addiction) and I thought I just inherited that hair from my mom. Two years ago, I read about porn dependence and tried to keep porn for 90 days. I didn't stop, and even the breakups made me try better. I've taken better care of myself, I've tried to eat properly and take vitamins every day.
The difference is incredible! I've become less sick in intersex, my skin looks better. But the best thing is, in addition to the past worries about excessive masturbation, it's my big hair. My friends can't believe that just the daily vitamin reception has so improved my hair. But they can't imagine that I'm not masturbating between 3 and 10 times a day. This can be easily explained by science, our reproductive system is first-hand for the organism and very many vitamins go to the detriment of the rest.
Alicia: Retention was indeed and remains a very difficult test for me. Sometimes I dream how I leave this whole thing and look again at those porn techs that watch so often. Sometimes, for a month, the desire became stronger for known reasons (hormones, yes), but consciously I concentrate on the fact that I can't just break my record so easily, and I'm pushing this temptation aside.
Terra: (98 days) my life is definitely getting better than before, but I'm not sure I'll be able to abstain for a long time. I've got two jobs, every day I do, I've lost 115 pounds from 135, now I'm in the best shape in recent years.
The influence of porn is not limited to reducing the sensitivity to real sex. It can compel women that pornographic scenarios are real sex, make them play porn stars, or just tolerate the pornographic bias of their boys.
For example, one girl tells me (on the pages of one British newspaper) that she was looking at porn inclined her boyfriend to re-establish rape scenes, which she thought was within the rule because the guy used to show her porn with rape.
Whitney.: Looking at tough porn has affected me. Why don't I look like these women? Why is my chest smaller? Why doesn't men like the shape of my lips? Why is my skin so pale? Maybe I should light a little. Do I have too much hair there? Why am I not drowning like them? Why don't I get these bright orgasms? It took a long time to realize how fake and unrealistic porn is.
Lena: My boyfriend's been cured with erectile dysfunction by throwing a porn, and since then we have regular sex. After the abstinence began, I've lost my temper. But it's all back! I'm explaining this: my boyfriend stopped seeing me like forever porn stars, he's been seeing me as a living person, a person with his needs. He was trying to see me not just a woman, but a man with individual feelings and his own sexuality. He didn't try to pretend to be all that crazy sex stuff. Now we were just two people who were enjoying sex with each other. When I tried to get an orgasm, he focused on me, exclusively on me, and I'm on it like that. And it changed everything in our intimate life.
Dana: I had no problem with porn dependence, but I thought I should be acting like a porn actress to be interesting to men. Continuing thunderstorms, excessive skill and exaggeration, eternal pole shifts, 10 (of course fake) orgasms in a row, all in that spirit. This permanent actor game, because you think men need it that way, you don't really enjoy it. And with that, there's a belief that a guy should just watch a ton of porn and use you as a sexual object.
Women have become different, like they're building themselves, and Evan says a 31-year-old man. - I'm a ladies' man. And it turns me on when the girl gets excited. But I am increasingly aware that women are becoming more “gromical”. Whatever I do, I'm not sure that a woman won't start curving like a porn. Honestly, it's a little weird. And I'm not sure I like it. Men and women should together overcome the challenge of modern superstitious porn. Emotional support for each other is the first step. As one woman said: Our brains also work like men, we have a similar reward system. There are no significant differences, except for purely individual, in processes that lead to dependency. Our emotions work the same way. We need to learn how to deal with stress in other ways without obsessing him with sexual stimulation. Just like men.
Men say the same:
One thing that adds courage and gambling to my abstinence was that women face the same problems. Realizing that I'm not crazy or perverted, and that many people of both sexes are facing it, took me off my shoulder. We're all just people. Women, men are the inhabitants of this little piece of Earth that exists until our sun has succeeded.