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Questions about sex and health

Reader questions about sex, relationships, and health answered by experts: case analyses, anatomy, potency, contraception.

How to properly support a friend after an abortion and not say too much?

Editorial

Answer

First of all, you need to listen and not impose your opinion. It's better to ask what specifically you can help with and offer real options, not invent them. If you promised help, be sure to fulfill it, as failure can be critical. Don't take on more than you can handle, and respect her privacy. If you're not ready to support, honestly step back without judging.

Мне кажется, что мои оргазмы стали менее яркими, и иногда подтекает моча при кашле. Это может быть связано со слабостью мышц тазового дна? Что мне делать?

Editorial

Answer

Да, по данным исследования, слабое тазовое дно связано с более низкой интенсивностью сокращений при оргазме и снижением чувствительности, а также может вызывать недержание мочи при кашле или смехе. Рекомендуется начать с упражнений Кегеля: сжимайте мышцы, как будто хотите остановить поток мочи, на 5–10 секунд, затем расслабляйте, повторяя 10–15 раз несколько раз в день. Однако, если проблемы уже есть, лучше проконсультироваться с гинекологом или физиотерапевтом, специализирующимся на тазовом дн...

What to do if I notice obsessive sexual thoughts and it's starting to affect my satisfaction?

Editorial

Answer

Research shows that sexual compulsivity affects men and women differently: in men, it is associated with deterioration of physical function, while in women, it is directly linked to dissatisfaction, bypassing physiology. If you recognize yourself in this description, it is worth consulting a sexologist or psychotherapist — a specialist will help you understand whether the problem lies in the body or in the emotional sphere. You can also take a pause and listen to yourself: what do you really wa...

After 45, sex has become a taboo topic for me, especially among doctors. Why is this happening and what can be done about it?

Editorial

Answer

You are not alone in your feelings: participants in studies over 45 have noted that shame and silence around sex hinder them more than physiology. Often doctors themselves avoid this topic, but it is conversation with a partner or doctor that helps you feel better and less anxious. If you need to discuss intimate issues, look for a specialist you trust and do not be afraid to raise this topic — talking about sex is not shameful at any age.

Can gender role nonconformity affect sexual life, and what to do about it?

Editorial

Answer

Yes, it can. Research has shown that the more a person feels their nonconformity to gender stereotypes, the higher the risk of sexual dysfunctions, such as decreased desire or problems with arousal. However, this is not a direct sentence: the negative impact is largely explained by social support. If close ones accept you and do not judge, this reduces stress and anxiety that interfere with intimacy. Therefore, it is important to surround yourself with people who support you, and if difficultie...

I was diagnosed with an ovarian cyst. Is it cancer?

Editorial

Answer

No, in the vast majority of cases, an ovarian cyst is not cancer. A cyst is just a fluid-filled sac, while cancer is a solid mass of uncontrolled dividing cells. Most cysts are benign, such as functional cysts, and often resolve on their own within a couple of months. Even the risk of a dermoid cyst turning into cancer is only 1–2%, and that is more common after age 45 or with large cysts. However, if the cyst is complex, it can be difficult to distinguish from cancer on ultrasound, so it is im...

Can a man consider himself bisexual if he is in a relationship with a girl and has never been with a man?

Editorial

Answer

Yes, he can. Your orientation is determined by feelings, not experience. Bisexuality is an identity, not a "track record." Being in a relationship with a woman does not make you "simply heterosexual," just as being in a relationship with a man does not make you "simply gay." Imposter syndrome is common among bi people, but remember: you don't have to prove anything to anyone. If doubts persist, consider support from a psychologist familiar with LGBTQ topics.

I feel like my partner is emotionally destroying me, but I'm afraid to tell anyone: what if they don't believe me, since there are no bruises. How to choose a person you can trust, and what to say so that I'm heard?

Editorial

Answer

Start with those who, in your opinion, are able to listen: a friend, a relative, a psychologist, or a doctor — it's important that the person is safe and doesn't idealize your partner. Prepare a phrase in advance, for example: 'I am experiencing abuse in my relationship, and I need support.' If they interrupt you or dismiss you, say: 'It's important to me that you hear me, not judge me.' If the reaction is bad, remember: it's not your fault, that listener just isn't suitable. Look for someone w...